Wishes For Your Heart, Comfort For Your Soul
by starrylaa
Summary: Sequel to Broken Spells and Wounded Hearts. After Arthur banishes Merlin for his magic, Gwen follows and struggles to forget her feelings for Arthur, but there are some things the heart won’t let go of. A/G


**Wishes For Your Heart, Comfort For Your Soul**

**Rating**: PG  
**Pairing**: Gwen/Arthur, Gwen/Merlin (friendship), Merlin/Arthur (friendship or de-friendship, should that be)  
**Disclaimer:** Merlin belongs to the BBC. The mirror idea is from Beauty and the Beast.  
**Spoilers**: Based on the episode "Sins of The Father"  
**Summary:** After Arthur has banished Merlin away for being magic, Gwen follows, no longer able to recognise the man she fell in love with. They embark in search of a new home, but can anywhere be enough to take the place of Camelot? Gwen struggles to forget her feelings for Arthur, but there are some things the heart won't let go of.

Sequel to Broken Spells and Wounded Hearts. It won't make sense if you haven't read that first.

A/N: Many thanks for those who commented last time. This one is for you.

***

She thinks about him constantly.

After a hard night of sleeping on a forest floor, he's the first thing that pops into her head when she wakes up. Exhausted after spending a day travelling through some forest, village or another, he's the last one she thinks of as she falls asleep. She spends most of the time wondering how he is and the rest of the time feeling guilty that she left him. But she consoles herself with the fact that she made the right decision. Being left behind would have only meant being consumed by a darkness too.

***

Once they were a group of four, a group so strong and so impenetrable that the world could have ended and it wouldn't have mattered to them.

Now they were down to two.

At times she wonders if the Merlin who first stepped into Camelot could have ever predicted the effect his presence would have on them all: the drawing of four unlikely souls together, the friendship, the laughter and the incredible memories. Could he have ever foreseen how one decision could destroy one of them, and then in turn destroy them all?

And would things have been different if he had?

Sometimes she thinks that it's best not to think about these things.

With just the two of them, they amble on. Sometimes they spend a lot of time talking and reflecting, but a lot of time they spend in silence, simply wondering.

Their first week is spent travelling through forests and fields. They're vigilant through the day, but Merlin's spells keep them safe at night. The forest ground is hard and cold, but Merlin does his best to keep them warm and comfortable. And yet, it doesn't disguise the fact that the ground isn't her much wanted bed; the forest not her home, not Camelot.

***

On the first day of their second week, they get attacked by bandits.

Merlin manages to throw them off with magic, but the time it takes to do so feels like an eternity to her.

When the bandits have gone, Gwen falls to her knees, sobbing. Merlin places an arm around her to comfort her, but her soul remains undecidedly so.

This scene reminds her too much of the last time she was attacked by bandits and Arthur had attempted to rescue her.

Except this time, there's no Arthur to rescue her; no prince to share confused but lingering glances with.

***

At the end of the second week they pass through a town. They stop off for a good night's rest in an inn and a decent meal. The town is welcoming and far enough from Camelot that they will be safe here. But they both know that this isn't to be their home.

So they set off again in search of another place to call their home.

They pass through many towns and villages on their travels, but not once do they find a place they deem suitable.

On the fourth day of the third week, Merlin can see that Gwen is starting to feel a great deal of despair and he thinks of ways that might cheer her up.

And then an idea hits him.

"Did you bring a mirror with you, Gwen?" he inquires.

She looks at him in confusion. Surely Merlin did not need a mirror for vanity? But she nods her head and takes out of her belongings an intricate hand mirror that belonged to her mother.

Merlin utters some words and the mirror glows an impressive red. He hands it back to her.

"Whatever you wish to see, whomever you wish to see, you can find it in the mirror."

She smiles at Merlin: it's like he knows what she's been wishing.

With the mirror in her hands, she closes her eyes and thinks of _him._

But the image in the mirror isn't the one she wishes to see.

She sees Arthur in his castle, with Gaius talking to him in the background. Arthur's face is contorted with fury and he's throwing things in anger, that at first she struggles to recognise him. Immediately the scene shifts to show the whole of Camelot. But it appears dark and gloomy, as if someone has cast a spell over it, shrouding it in permanent darkness.

The scenes are so monstrous and horrible that she drops the mirror in shock.

Merlin catches it with his magic.

And she never asks for the mirror again.

***

On the fifth day of the fourth week, they are greeted with a scene so surprising, that it warms their hearts.

They've reached the edge of a kingdom, but it is what's in the sky that captures their attention.

The figures in the sky are tiny from where they are, but there is no mistaking their distinctive shape, nor the unique cries that they emit. Gwen has never seen one before, but she's certain for what they are.

"Dragons!" Merlin exclaims.

They look at each other in wonder. Could it be that they've finally stumbled onto a magical kingdom?

The sight gives them that extra skip in their step; the one push of vitality to keep them going.

As they get closer and closer to the heart of the kingdom, the dragons in the sky get bigger and bigger. They look at them in awe. Never have they seen a scene so breath-taking: a dozen or so dragons of many different colours dancing in the sky. They cry and roar at each other, but she knows that they are happy; that their place belongs in the sky.

One glance at Merlin shows a look of sadness passing on his face. Somehow, she knows he is thinking of the dragon that he never got the chance to free.

After almost a day of travelling, they finally reach the centre of the kingdom and the sight that greets them is astounding. There are many shops of magic on sight and on their walk to the brilliant-looking castle, many spells are cast left, right and centre. The people here are incredibly happy and it's obvious to note that magic thrives well amongst the people. Evidently, people and magic can exist well together, and for a moment, Gwen is saddened that Arthur never got the chance to realise this.

Having placed their exhausted horses in the stables, Gwen and Merlin seek the king and queen to ask permission to stay in their kingdom. The king and queen are both elderly, and Gwen suspects the queen is magic herself. But in their age, they are also incredibly benevolent. Looking on at them with wise eyes, they grant them stay in their kingdom, confident that the two will help their realm prosper.

And so it is that Gwen and Merlin call this place their home.

***

Four months pass and Gwen and Merlin begin to settle well into this kingdom. They find a house together, no bigger than Gwen's previous and stay there. Gwen finds a job in the castle and though magic makes a lot of her former tasks redundant, there is still a lot it can't replace with human compassion and touch. Merlin too finds a place in the kingdom, assisting a group of warlocks in perfecting spells to act as cures and remedies for maladies. Merlin reveals his magic openly, but Gwen knows he never lets on at the true depth of his abilities. She knows that he's afraid to.

The two of them are relatively happy here, but often she feels like something is missing.

***

Every night she dreams of him. She dreams that he gets better and becomes a little of the man she recognises. Sometimes she dreams that they return to him and become united in happiness. Other times, he comes in search of them. But more often than not she dreams that he cannot be saved and like Morgana, he falls and there is nothing that can be done to save him.

And every morning she wakes, willing herself to stop her tears from falling.

***

A month later, news reaches the kingdom that a beautiful, raven-haired witch is gaining power in a distant kingdom.

_She is to be feared, _the townspeople whisper, but they themselves are not concerned about the dark and powerful witch in a kingdom far away from them.

Merlin and Gwen despair greatly at the news.

They expected it, of course, but it's just another sign that the woman they both loved is beyond salvation.

***

Two months later, snow begins to fall in the kingdom and Gwen welcomes the beauty of the weather. After work, Merlin and Gwen will sit in front of the fireplace and Merlin will manipulate the fire to form images of amusement, warming Gwen's heart in more ways than one.

But the weather makes her think of home and home makes her think of Arthur and she's struck by how much she misses him.

Merlin takes her hand in his and she knows he misses him too.

As she begins to cook dinner, Merlin goes to her drawer and pulls out the mirror she has there.

She watches as Merlin closes his eyes and then opens them to look at the mirror. What he sees there makes him gasp and Gwen quickly rushes to his side.

He holds up the mirror for her to see.

There in the mirror she sees Camelot. Whereas once before there was dark clouds and gloom, here there is only sunshine and happiness radiating off the people's faces. The mirror shows an image of Gaius laughing and looking happier than she's ever seen him.

The two of them look at each other in confusion. What does it mean?

They can't dare themselves to look in the mirror to search for Arthur.

***

The months pass and winter turns to spring.

Sometimes, she fears that Arthur might be dead but she refuses to let her hope die. One day she'll be brave enough to find out, but at the moment, it's too much.

As the days grow warmer, Merlin and Gwen spend a lot of time outside. She sits with Merlin by the lake as he practises magic and she'll watch on, entranced.

Merlin smiles at her and asks her to extend her hand.

She looks at him strangely. "What for?"

"I want to try something," he tells her.

So she extends her hand and he turns it so her palm faces up. She watches as he draws a star on her hand and giggles at the sensation.

"Make a wish," he says to her with a grin. "A wish for your heart."

She looks at him, uncertain whether he is teasing, but he looks on imploringly.

She studies her palm and looks on in amazement as the star that he's drawn there glows. Smiling, she closes her eyes and does as he wishes.

_I wish for _him, she thinks. _I wish for Arthur._ In her mind, she thinks of the Arthur she knows by heart.

Afterwards, she opens her eyes and finds Merlin watching her intently.

"Now raise your palm to the sky," he says.

She does as he says and watches on in wonder as the glowing star on her hand shoots up into the sky.

"Wow," she breathes, as she watches it disperse and melt into the clouds.

"Don't say I never gave you anything," Merlin teases.

And together they laugh, revelling in the beauty of his magic.

***

Another week passes and Gwen forgets the wish she made. She's not sure whether she believes that it will come true and sometimes, it's too much to hope for.

Merlin and Gwen continue to sit by the lake and practise magic. She thinks it wonderful to see Merlin practise his magic so freely, without the fear of being caught. He thrives here, she can see that clearly, which makes it all that bit sadder.

As she watches him cast a charm in the air, Merlin turns to her.

"Why don't you try, Gwen?"

"I think that you're forgetting, Merlin, that I'm not magic!" she says with a laugh.

He shakes his head at her. "Anyone can do magic. Some are just more able than others."

"Really?"

He nods. "I mean, you won't be able to do complex spells, but I don't see why you can't try simple charms."

She looks at him in astonishment, not quite believing his words.

But he takes her hands in his and tells her to chant the words he says.

Her attempts at magic are laughable. Far from conjuring brilliant and awe-inspiring images, the best she can manage is a puff of smoke.

But still, he makes her try. After what seems like hours, that puff of smoke evolves into an image of a rabbit.

"I did it!" she cried. "I did it, Merlin! I did it!"

She stands up in glee and Merlin does too.

They both jump up and down in excitement, neither of them able to take their eyes off the rabbit. They watch as the rabbit dances across the lake and reaches the other side.

And what they see, causes them to stop in shock.

Gwen lets out a startled gasp.

"Tell me Merlin," she whispers. "Do you see what I see?"

Beside her, Merlin nods. "I do," he answers softly.

On the other side of the lake, stands the unmistakeable image of Arthur Pendragon.

***

She doesn't know how long they stand there staring at him; it feels like an eternity.

Her heart is pounding loudly as she watches him; examining him. Oh, how different he looks! But oh, how similar he looks too!

He stands in that regal red jacket of his that she always did love, with his hair a little longer from what she was accustomed to. From what she can tell from the distance, he looks a little older and a little like he's seen enough to last a lifetime. But there's no mistaking that stance of his; no mistaking the regret in his face nor the intense look in his eyes.

Time eventually unfreezes itself and Gwen reaches her senses.

She starts to make her way into the water.

"Gwen, wait!" Merlin cries.

She looks at him, wondering if he's trying to stop her.

"You'll never get across the lake if you wade through it," he admonishes.

She gives him a hopeful look and smiling, Merlin causes the water to stop.

And suddenly, there's nothing standing between them and Arthur.

Before she knows it, she's running on water; rushing to him, and he's rushing towards her too. Somewhere in the middle they meet and for a moment they simply look at each other, uncertain what to do next. She marvels him, looking for all the signs that show it's him and she finds many.

_He's back_, she thinks. _He really is back._

She lets out a little cry and envelops him in a hug. He lifts her off the ground and crushes her to him.

For a long while, they stay like that.

He eventually sets her back on the ground and the two of them look at one another.

"I've been searching for you for months," he tells her and she begins to cry.

***

Back at the house, the three of them stand in awkward silence. She can see Merlin and Arthur eyeing each other wearily, and there's a certain tension in the air.

Eventually, Arthur speaks. "Can you ever forgive me?" he asks him.

Merlin looks at him, watching him. He takes a while to answer. But slowly he nods.

Arthur beams and all of a sudden, the two of them are embracing one another.

With a smile on her face, Gwen watches from the edge and then leaves the house, letting the two of them share a moment to talk.

***

She hasn't picked flowers in a long time, but suddenly she feels happy enough to do so. Beaming, she picks the most colourful flowers she can find, all the while not able to believe that Arthur has come and found them.

When she returns to the house, she finds Merlin and Arthur talking amicably, as Merlin prepares dinner. Seeing her enter, the two men smile at her and she smiles back.

As they sit down and eat dinner, Arthur tells them about life back in Camelot.

"After you both left, I was distraught," he tells them. "Life in Camelot grew quite dark- darker than before and I grew increasingly harder to reason with. It took hitting rock bottom to be able to pick myself up off the ground, but I had Gaius to help. He advised me and reassured me, and eventually I was able come to my senses. I knew that I had to restore Camelot to its former glory and that meant banishing the anti-magic laws. It took a long while, but Camelot is now a kingdom where magic and people are able to co-exist."

She casts a glance at Merlin and is warmed to see the look of pride reflecting on his face.

Arthur carries on. "After I had Camelot restored and the trust of the people intact, I was finally able to do what I wanted from the start: to come and find the two of you. I set off by myself and it took many weeks to get here."

Gwen's hand creeps over to his. "We're glad you're here," she tells him.

He smiles at her.

Merlin looks confused. "So hold on. You came here to find us?" he inquires.

Arthur nods.

"So who is looking after Camelot?"

Arthur grins. "Why, Sir William of Daira, of course."

Merlin and Gwen study his face to see if he's lying, but he appears quite sincere, and simultaneously they all burst out laughing.

***

Arthur stays another week, in which time they get to know each other.

She cherishes the time she spends with him, and equally, he seems to enjoy being here.

As well as spending time with Merlin and Gwen, Arthur also seeks to build relationships with the king and queen. After establishing them as a powerful ally, Gwen knows that it is his time to leave.

The two of them watch as Arthur packs, but she doesn't want him to leave. His stay has been wonderful and she doesn't want to go back to the harsh reality without him.

But just as he's finished packing, he turns to face them.

"I know that the two of you are happy here," he says. "But there will always be a place in Camelot for you, should you wish to return."

Gwen looks at Merlin and a look of uncertainty passes on both their features.

But slowly, Merlin begins to smile.

They don't need much persuading to return back home.

***

The three of them set off on their horses, ready to begin the long journey home.

Gwen is positioned in the middle of the two men.

One glance at Merlin, and she has never felt so happy for him. Once glance at Arthur, and she has never felt so loved.

She knows that the three of them have a long journey ahead of them, both literally and metaphorically. She knows that that Arthur and Merlin have a long road ahead of them before they are truly comfortable with one another. Likewise, she knows it will take a lot of effort before the bridge between she and Arthur is mended.

But she also knows that more than anything, they'll get there in the end.

And her soul has never felt more comforted by this fact.

A/N: There will be a counterpart fic, depicting the events from Arthur's POV, and maybe if I get a chance, there will be a sequel, chronicling life once they return to Camelot.

I'm not sure how true it is that everyone can do magic. As Gaius can do it and his abilities aren't innate, it is my thinking that everyone can, to some degree.

I hope you enjoyed reading!


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